Is ME-TIME Fancy or Worthy?

Being a Devil’s Advocate?

After beginning my career with Snapdeal in 2015, I was introduced to the fancy term “ME Time” by one of my coworkers, Aryan. He was a huge proponent of ME time, and his everyday routine included a cup of coffee from Barista, along with books and a diary.

I being a newly graduated carefree person who has just recently begun collecting monthly salary checks, was always enticed towards hanging out with friends, eating extravagant meals, and getting myself always occupied with one thing or another.

I used to feel pity for Aryan after seeing his lifestyle and wonder how such people could exist. I branded all of the people who choose to spend “ME-Time” as boring people who are certainly not my kind of people. I’m not sure how those people exist at all without posting daily pictures on Instagram or stalking other accounts. I can’t imagine sitting alone in a cafe and being bored. I was terrified of isolation and was completely reliant on others to keep me content and engaged.

2 years passed and my life started to get dull when some close friends of mine moved to different cities or got committed into a Tinder relationship 😐. The icing on the cake came that my own flatmate began avoiding me because of his recent guitar obsession.

I was also overconfident that my friends would flock to this cool zone. I was constantly trying to prove that I was the best by grinding my butt off in the workplace during the day and then browsing aimlessly through social media or binge-watching and chilling at night.

Time flies, my friends started doing phenomenal in their careers, one of them joined Google, one of my friends got selected for IAS after quitting his job at Snapdeal, and one of my friends who started his own venture received funding of 1 Million for his startup.

I was having a bad time and was contemplating an existential dilemma, wondering if I should keep living my life this way and retire at the age of 60 with little to reminisce on.

Enough of sitting in the back seat, Salil’s life should not be lived in this manner. It’s time for me to get behind the wheel of my own life and take command.

I started looking at myself in the mirror as a third person. I asked 3 questions:

  1. Who is Salil?
  2. What does he want to achieve?
  3. How can I help Salil?

Knowing about Salil or what does he wants is never a cakewalk for me and I had to fight tooth and nail to know more about him. But as I learned more about Salil, things began to change for the better, and I began to love developing an understanding with him. It’s ironic to say you’ve been with someone since birth and really have no idea who they are.

This is where I started developing a lovely connection with Salil and that connection is known as “ME-Time” which is mesmerizing and was highly underrated.

I used to be extremely obfuscated with some of the peculiar problems of my life. An incident popped up in my head from the memory lane of Snapdeal, one day my manager asked me to conduct a session on ‘Multithreading with Executors’. Despite having sound knowledge about the topic, I was afraid to host the session and talk in front of my teammates. I tried everything to delay the session by procrastinating and making ridiculous excuses. This made my manager irritated and the session was eventually canceled.

This act made me cheerful for a while, but it also turned me into a scaredy-cat.

When I sat down for a while, I realized that it’s not that I’m terrified of speaking in front of my coworkers, this has been a problem for me since I was a teenager.

when I was asked to come and read the thought of the day in my school assembly.

After a long period of contemplation, I realized that when I was in school and was asked to come up on stage to solve a math problem, my classmates teased me, saying things like “he won’t be able to solve the problem, he doesn’t know anything, he’s a cry-baby,” and so on. Such comments traumatized me to the point that I was always uncomfortable or anxious. Whenever I was called on stage to talk or present, I would always end up with thoughts like what if someone made fun of me or judged me?.

On such occasions, I would always run away rather than facing my fears, but when I started spending time with myself or Salil then I understood that I am a product of my childhood events. The only way to defeat my fears is to confront them repeatedly by practicing more.

To my amazement, I found a platform named ‘Toastmasters’ which helped me in improving my public speaking skills.

It took a leap of faith to overcome my agitation, but now I can deliver 30-minute presentations, host office meetings, and perform storytelling sessions, and Toastmasters has even turned me into an avid blogger

One of the biggest perks of spending “ME time” or date with Salil ;) is that I was able to suggest a meaningful solution to Salil after getting to know the root causes of his life problems. This is how it helped me to get the best out of Salil.

It is impossible to construct Rome in a day or a week and similarly, it is also impossible to be fully conscious of oneself in a day or a week, but it is only possible through regular practice. There is no such thing as a wrong time, but the right time is right now.

If you want to extract the best version of yourself, you must first understand yourself. You must ask yourself these three questions in order to understand yourself:

  1. Who are you?
    The response to this question will lead to a slew of other questions about your outlook on life, as well as aspects of your personality and character.
  2. What do you want to achieve?
    The response to this question would prompt you to consider your objectives, which may include gaining six-pack abs, being an entrepreneur, or musician.
  3. How can you help yourself?
    The response to this question will give you a myriad of paths you can follow to fulfill your desires and dreams. For example, this question helped me to understand my fear of public speaking and motivated me to join Toastmasters.

No one can answer these questions except you. Find a corner in your room or a cafe or go out and sit in a park. Grab a pen/paper or laptop and start answering these 3 simple questions. Know yourself and see the drastic change in yourself.

What’s Next?

There are many more topics to be explained and stories to be told, follow me and keep an eye on this place. In the next few posts I will be writing in detail about the following topics:

  • Learn the basic structure of a speech.
  • The road towards non-neediness.
  • Learn about Compound and Isolation Exercises.

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Thanks for reading 😊 Cheers, keep learning and sharing 😊.

Software Developer at Microsoft

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